What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
