you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
