HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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