In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
