I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
