even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
