She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
