go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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