great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
