can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
