I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
