I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
