Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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