the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
