halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize