I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
