I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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