if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
