Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
