I don't usually arrange sex via text message
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
