lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
