they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize