I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize