are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
