He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
