it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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