My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
