you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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