i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
