yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
