I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm too high and old for this...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
