If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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