I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
