your room smells of hookers.
And success
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
