It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize