I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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