so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
