Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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