When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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