I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
