I want to have your abortion
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
