yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
