that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
