If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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