You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
