just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
