Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
