You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
