and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
