he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
