Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Mom said you looked used
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
