i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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