I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
