Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
