Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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