I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
