i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
