Do vagina's smell?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
