Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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