Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize