What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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