Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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