Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
