So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
