i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just found puke in my bra..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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